Freudian Slips
by jayilyse
Summary: Rose wants to tell Kanaya her feelings. Kanaya makes a Freudian slip. (Each chapter is from the POV of the person named in the chapter title. Made before the 10/23/12 – 10/25/12 updates. First fic of four. )
1. Rose

Kanaya Maryam has always been a puzzling creature.

I am not saying that she is a beast of some sort – far from it, really. Technically speaking, she is a creature of the night. Or it might be day for trolls. Perhaps they can walk through both. I have a general overview of how rainbow drinkers work, but she is highly embarrassed of what she has to do to survive – taking blood from others – so she has not told me the specifics. From my understanding, she loves reading about them; however, she does not think she lives up to the books. She occasionally describes situations from her books and they are often depicted like vampires – mysterious, witty, and seductive. These traits are nonexistent to her in regards to herself. Yet, from what I see, she is all three of these traits and much more.

Though she has her bad traits – such as being worried too easily, or being meddlesome in her efforts to help, Kanaya has constantly proven herself as a trustworthy individual, as well as an amusing one. She is observant, kind, and caring too. Her intelligence is far from lacking – she is mastering the arts of sarcasm quite fast, save for a few kinks. Speaking of, there are quite a few things I would like to do to her. I would rather admit that sort of thing to myself than drown in my own teenage hormones. I am a fourteen year old girl, and I have needs just like any other. Her figure does not exactly help those hormones from alerting me to their presence. I might even go as far as to say that they go to my brain and then straight to another area on my body. However, I can control my urges for the most part. I have acquired other peculiar symptoms from being around her, and I know exactly what they boil down to. My heart frequently skips a beat or two in her presence. Other times it will decide to make a home in my throat. My stomach repeatedly decides to allow butterflies into every nook, cranny and crevice of itself. Nevertheless, that is enough of all the euphemisms.

I love her.

All these symptoms started about a year ago. I knew automatically what all these symptoms meant – I would be a horrible fiction writer if I did not notice the signs of romance. Before this, however, I had never felt them myself. For most of the year, I tried to suppress the emotion. Romance is technically not a good idea when one is on the run. Then there is the fact that we are different species. Using these excuses, I stopped myself from making a "move". I have tried to keep my actions and words ambiguous. There were times when something or other almost slipped. I covered it up as sarcasm, most of the time. I kept myself contained by smirking instead of laughing – or at least, trying my best to do so. It is hard when someone as witty as Kanaya makes a perfect retort.

To be honest, I am tired of denying it. I have observed her actions, and I like to think she feels the same. This is added to the fact that I have seen fortune is on my side on certain days – in this fashion, I am like any other teenage girl. That is, I have looked at fortunes to see if I can get the female or male I want to be with me. Today, fortune is on my side. I am done waiting. I have not looked at what I could do specifically to make her say yes – I want this to be her choice. I am already going to be forward enough. Though it is nerve-wracking, all I can do is hope for the best.

We have been in the library doing research for just about two hours now. I have been staring at my book for maybe a half hour or so instead of reading it – maybe skimming a word or two. I am trying to summon up the courage to talk to Kanaya about what I feel. I pick up my head to take a look at her. It seems like she is staring off into space – pardon the pun. I wonder how she is so graceful without even trying, or how she is this beautiful. The answers have always eluded me. It is best to just accept them as fact and move on. She has not noticed me staring yet. Perhaps it is time to make a move. But what could I do? I need more time to think. Let me get her to read some more to buy myself more time.

"Kanaya."

She doesn't turn around with a start like others would have done. She slowly turns and looks at me, batting her eyelashes. Obviously, she did not do it on purpose. However, it does not stop the sudden flair of butterflies in my stomach. I try not to show it, though. I point down to my book, and smirk. She gets the hint and goes back to her book. If I have time to think, though, I might stop myself in my tracks. Make this wait for another day – yet again. No. I have to tell her. I have to get this off my chest. Before Kanaya has the chance to turn the page, I ask if she wants to take a break. I tell her that I will make some coffee. Maybe being somewhat impulsive on the matter will help me. She looks back at the book, then back at me – she nods and speaks for the first time since our research session started.

"If that is what you desire, then coffee it is."

I stand up, closing the book as gently as possible. I put the tome down on the chair softly as well. All these books are very fragile, and the slightest bit of unnecessary roughness can damage them. I brush off some dust that was left on me from aforementioned books with tiny pats – the dust stains the outfit if one just smoothes it over. Kanaya taught me that after I did it the first time. Her fashion sense, decoration skill, and knowledge of fabrics are breath taking in many ways. I have seen some of her designs when she accidentally, or not-so-accidentally, leaves them out. The outfits she has sketched are truly beautiful – much like her. I seem to be getting off track from my main goal with my own thoughts. Oddly enough, I feel like someone is watching me. I look out of my peripheral vision, but I do not see Kanaya staring at me. All she is doing is standing up and stretching. Unless she is looking from the corner of her eye, which is not out of the question. Although, she does look like she is zoning out again. I walk over, silently, and tap her on the shoulder.

"Kanaya?"

She clears her throat, looking down at the ground and the walls – basically everywhere but me. I wonder what she was thinking.

"Sorry, there are many things to think about at the moment."

Alright, it is time to put on the show. I give her a smirk, and turn around so I can walk to the coffee brewer. Before I completely turn around, I give her an "I suppose so". I try to slow my steps so I can give myself time to calm down. It is going to be okay – I think. I am starting to become even more nervous than before. I know that time is not on my side today. I do not have all day to try this. I have only this moment. For lack of better terms, what the hell is wrong with me? I wish this was as easy as it looks in movies. By the time I get to the coffee brewer, I am surprised that I am not having an aneurism or, at the very least, twitching. I almost spill the coffee while I am putting it in the cup – hopefully, Kanaya did not notice. I take make mine as I usually desire it – black. I put two sugar cubes in hers. Sometimes she prefers three; however, she does not ask for it this time, so two it is. We sit down at the new table that is not covered with books. This way we can put down the coffee and not have to worry about spilling it on important pages. Kanaya takes a sip of her coffee – I try to start up a conversation almost right away. Perhaps that is too hasty on my part. I start with an easy topic – the ancient tomes.

"Have you come across anything new in your books?"

"I still have not found anything we have not seen or read before, unfortunately. Have you?"

I have not found anything new in my books. If I say that though, that could make a dead end in the conversation. Wait – she did not necessarily say that I had to find something new in a book. I have been observing Kanaya's actions. Many of them lead to the conclusion that she has the same feelings as me – some of them are new. Yes – that is perfect. She is my book.

"Perhaps I did."

She raises an eyebrow at me. It is a strange quirk of hers that one can tell what she is feeling based on the position of her eyebrows. I may pay attention and observe too many things for my own good, yet, to notice something as subtle as that is usually beyond my comprehension. I have got to pace this conversation out – for my own nerves, and for my plan to work. All I need to do is beat around the bush a little bit. I need to find a way to introduce the topic. After a minute, she speaks up.

"What did you find?"

Patience – all I need to have is patience.

"Something I have known for a while. I kept missing the signs about it."

Kanaya seems to think for a bit – usually I tell her this sort of thing right away. It is very abnormal of me not to divulge information, as it is imperative for both of us to have the knowledge to inform the others. Depending on what she says, I have to think of a response to say quickly. I need to think of what I can do to improvise. Soon, she says something that works perfectly for my "beat around the bush" plan.

"Am I supposed to guess?"

"Why, Miss Maryam, that sounds like a fabulous idea."

Her expression turns to one of confusion. I do not think she got a chance to look at the book I was reading. She would not have any idea what to gue –

"I do not have the slightest idea."

Well, there goes that. How could I make sure this conversation does not end? She could possibly figure out what I am trying to get at – oh, who am I kidding? She is oblivious, albeit one of the most brilliant individuals I know. Maybe I should give her a chance to figure it out, even though she will not get the right answer. I let myself attempt a smirk that does not seem belittling.

"Perhaps you are right, but I am sure you could figure it out."

I wait for a couple moments. Kanaya's eyes widen as if a light bulb went off in her head. Did she figure out what this whole conversation is about? Maybe then there will be a modest amount of explaining to do.

"Is this what you humans call 'beating around the bush'?"

Fuck, she is on to me.

"I suppose you could call it that, though in this case it would be the 'proverbial bush'."

"Rose, if you are going to beat around your proverbial bush, then can you give me a stick to beat your bush with?"

…Pardon?

I raise my eyebrows. My eyes widen as I realize the perversity of what she said. I know it is accidental, but that is just hilarious. I do not even know what to say that. I am trying to think of something, however, my mouth is only opening and closing like a fish out of water. I cannot help but laugh. It is the most robust and loudest laugh I have ever let out on this meteor to date. I really cannot help it. That is the _greatest_ accidental Freudian slip I have ever heard in my entire life. I am practically doubled over – I cannot contain the laughter. When I look up, I can see Kanaya blushing. She might be thinking she did something wrong, so I try to slow my laughter down. It takes a couple minutes – I am tearing up a storm. I have to lift my hand to rub the tears away as I try to catch my breath. It is sad how accurate that statement was, though. It does remind me of a few thoughts I have had before – I am not particularly ashamed of them. I am still a teenager over here. But, I have to talk soon. It is even harder when I am tempted to laugh again.

"That…That was quite the Freudian slip."

I take a deep breath to calm myself down a little more.

"Ironically enough, it is similar to what I was thinking about. Congratulations, Kanaya. Dave would be proud. In a way, it leads to a topic I have wanted to bring up for a long time."

This time I do not have to hide my real smile behind a smirk. I know she has seen glimpses of this particular expression on me, although I have tried to hide it as best as I could. Kanaya is jade all over – everywhere from the neck up. She smiles back at me. Her smile is gorgeous, and I decide I cannot beat around the subject anymore. It is time for action. I stand up, and push my chair in – trying not to make it groan, though it does anyway. I simply ignore it. She seems to feel the vibe – the lighter air, the better atmosphere – and stands up, too.

Audacity – I need audacity right now to do this. I know I have it in me. I know it.

I amble my way over to her. I notice she is staring at my hips – making me become very conscious of them. I have seen other women, like my mother, swing them back and forth. Now that I am paying attention to them, I feel that I am doing that as well. I would rather not do it – it is not the right time to focus on that. I have noticeably grown more than a couple inches. She is not as tall as she was when I first came to the meteor. Unfortunately, I still have to look up to her. I am moving closer and closer to her, until I am only a hair's width away from her body.

"Since you cannot guess what I have recently confirmed, I am forced to tell you."

I can hear her gulp. I am more than sure she has no idea what is going on.

I try not to smirk – it is really hard not to when one has information that the other individual does not. I am having more confidence about my decision to tell her by the second.

"I did not say I found any new information in a book. I have been reading you, instead."

Come on – just a bit more.

"I have been observing the things you have been doing for the past few months. I must say that I am very flattered by all the attention you give me."

Time to initiate the main plan – I have this in the bag.

"However, there is still one thing I have to do to confirm these observations as the truth. In order to do this, I need to ask you a favor."

Kanaya looks down at me, uncertainty in her eyes. Maybe she has not quite grasped what is going on here. Maybe I should stop and explain – no. They only way she will accept it as proof is if I show her. My palms are becoming clammy from nervousness.

"What is it, Rose?"

"Bend down a bit."

"…if that is what you desire."

She bends down, slowly but surely. She is being overly cautious – that means she really does not know what is going on. I grin.

It is time to dive in.

I take my time as I move my lips closer and closer to hers, feeling my eyes grow heavy as I do so. It seems like an eternity before I reach her lips. When I do, Kanaya lets out a rather loud squeak – quite frankly, that is probably the most adorable thing I have ever heard. I wonder if she squeaks for all things that surprise her – at least for anything intimate.

Warmth – warmth is the first thing I feel. Her lips are soft, though chapped to some extent. I have never kissed anyone before. The feeling is exhilarating. The butterflies in my stomach are going haywire – flying everywhere in their makeshift cage. I try to be as careful as possible – trying to see if she will respond back. I do not know if it is only hitting her now what is going on, or if I really was too forward – too presumptuous. No – I do not know either for sure. It is best to keep trying until I am. I put my arms around her waist, and push a little harder with my lips. I would be lying if I said this did not feel amazing. Her fangs are scratching at my lips – it makes my breath hitch, and my grip becomes tighter every time that happens. This feeling does not have a comparison to any feeling I have had in my life. Finally, she puts her arms around my neck and starts kissing back. The kiss feels like it should last forever, but I know it cannot. After a while, I lick at her lower lip, and suck on it – pulling it toward me and then letting go, signaling the end of the kiss. It takes major self-control not to start another one. I loosen my grip around her waist. I do not want to let go – so I do not. I feel her arms lower, pulling me into her as she moves them down to my upper back.

Giddy. The whole situation has left me giddy to the point of possible delirium. I lay my head against her shoulder. My vision is filled with the color of her clothing – bright red. Her heart is beating as fast as mine. Both of our breaths slow down, soon enough. It is to the point that it seems like our breathing becomes one and the same – in and out, in and out, at the same exact time. My face is completely flushed. I look up at Kanaya, and so is hers. Her face threatens to take away my breath again, as she looks completely dazzling right now. I beam up at her.

"So I was correct."

Her face turns to confusion.

"What was it that you were trying to confirm?"

"If you have what you trolls call 'flushed' feelings for me."

Her eyes have a hint of surprise in them, and then they turn into one of the most loving looks I have ever seen from her. My heart catches in my throat. My eyes start to water. I really do not know what to do with myself. I could flail around like one of those teenage school girls in anime – actually, I think I will skip that.

"I believe that is an accurate depiction of what I am feeling towards you."

I smile against her, and nuzzle her in a way that I like to think is barely perceptible. I do not want to seem too clingy.

"I would hope so. I've been waiting to do that for an excruciating amount of time, Kanaya."

Kanaya turns silent – too silent. I take my head off of her shoulder and look up at her. It is starting to make me worried.

"Kanaya?"

Her eyebrows were furrowed. Maybe she is worried about how far this has gone – she has told me about what happened with Vriska. She has never gotten this far in a relationship. I unwind my arms from her waist, and cup her face with one of my hands.

"We'll figure it out."

I stand on the tips of my toes, and kiss her on the lips – a short, quick kiss – I must admit, it is hard to resist making it like the last one. I am incredibly tired. It has been a long day of worrying, nervousness and success. My eyes feel like they are going to close any second now.

"I am going to sleep. It is late. You should come to my room tomorrow. We will discuss what just transpired."

Kanaya trips over her words just a smidgen – adorable, really.

"Yes. Of c-course."

I nod, and take my hand off of her face. I walk toward the transportalizer, thinking about everything that occurred moments ago. I am glad it turned out well. However, this could have ended horribly. I have my fears and doubts about what might happen from now on – I am sure she does too. I suppose I should just go with the flow. I enter the transportalizer, and turn around to see Kanaya once more. Before it completely takes me to a different hallway, I tell her that I will see her in my room. I hear the _bzzt_ and see the rays of light as I am transported to the main lobby. I turn down the hallway that leads to my abode. It is cold in this hallway – on the other hand, it could be due to how heated I still am. Sleep. I need sleep. I do not know how I will, considering I will be in deep thought about what recently happened. One thought stands out in my head before I enter my room.

Perhaps I should remember that Freudian slip for future reference.


	2. Kanaya

Rose Lalonde has always baffled me.

I am getting better at the art of sarcasm; however, I am still terrible at telling when others are using the art or being sincere. I have often become flustered when trying to assess whether it is the former or the latter, especially in reference to Rose. She is…ambiguous, to say the least. It does not help when she gives that knowing smirk every time I cannot figure out the right words to say. This, of course, happens very often around her. No matter how hard I scrutinize her words and actions, she shocks me with a completely opposite word or action. I am in constant doubt of what to do and how to speak around her. Suffice to say, I have no idea what I am doing when I am near her. Most, if not all of the time, it makes my think pan ache. She is quite a fascinating and mysterious person. I wish to crack the mystery of her words and thoughts. Yet, sometimes, I wonder if there is more to it.

My capillary blood pusher used to beat loudly in my ears when it came to Vriska – when I had flushed feelings for her, that is. Now when I think of her, there is nothing. I guess that is what happens after a half a sweep or so. Yet, now, when I think of Rose, my blood pusher beats against my pusher protectors instead of in my ears. It pulses so fast that I think it is going to randomly combust any day now. My pale, glowing skin betrays me many a time, as it shows when my face colors itself all too well. My thoughts get jumbled and muddled to the point that, though I try to carefully enunciate, I stumble and stutter. When she speaks to me, this strange sensation happens in my digestive acid sac – almost like it is flipping over. It is embarrassing, and puzzling. Yet, it is not a particularly awful feeling all together. It is just something I have not encountered before.

"Kanaya."

I turn to look at her as best as I can from my sitting position. She smirks and points to the book in her lap.

Oh. I must have been lost in my thoughts again.

As usual, we are in the library – reading ancient tomes and such. We have read most of these twice over. We are still trying to glean any piece of information we can out of them, so it is not out of the question that we may have to read them more than thrice. The book I was trying to read is about the titles and classes assigned when playing SBURB or SGRUB. As the humans say, I "zoned out" while trying to read. I go to turn the page but, before I can, I am interrupted.

"Why don't we take a break? I'll brew some coffee."

I look at the book, and then look back at her. I am becoming tired – a break and coffee sounds like a wonderful idea.

"If that is what you desire, then coffee it is."

She stands up first – closing the book softly and putting it on the chair she was sitting in. I could swear on the heat of the Alternian suns that everything she does is elegant – even putting a book down on a chair. As I stand up and stretch, I can see Rose from the corner of my eye. She is brushing off dust from the tome off the side of her God-Tier outfit. I have noticed her body before. However, this time, something seems different than it was a…what do they say? A week? Yes, a week. Something about her body seems different than it was a week ago. I tend to note her figure so that I can see images of outfits I could make for her. Yes, that is it. I am pretty sure that is all it is. Going back to the topic at hand, something is different. I try to look up and down from the corner of my eye and there seems to be nothing differ –

Oh.

Oh dear.

The others might not see it; however, I see the difference now.

Her vestigial chest sacs became bigger.

For humans, I have learned that they are not so vestigial. It is for when they have little, fragile, humans called "babies". The females of their species provide food and nourishment from their chest sacs until the baby is of a certain age. It is the same as what the beasts on Alternia had to do, except for humans it is a long and arduous process. The little human is still considered a baby until it is half a sweep, and when they are four or so sweeps they are still too fragile and trusting to do anything on their own. I have always wondered how the humans have survived for so long with how weak most of them were. Nevertheless, I am glad they did. I would not have Rose to talk to if they did not.

She taps me on the shoulder.

"Kanaya?"

I clear my protein chute.

"Sorry, there are many things to think about at the moment."

A smirk.

"I suppose so."

I follow her to the coffee brewer. I start to notice something else. Rose has become shapelier. Just a short time ago, she had a relatively straight body. It is not in the way she stands because she still stands as rigid as possible. It is not a bad thing, as many trolls are also what she used to be – that is, flat as a board. We make it to the machine and she pours two cups worth of coffee. She puts two cubes of sugar in one. That is how I know it is mine. She drinks hers "black", if I recall correctly. She hands me a cup, and we sit at the table – we recently put a new one in, so that we could have one table that is not covered with book upon book. I take a sip of my coffee, and Rose starts up a conversation.

"Have you come across anything new in any of your books?"

"I still have not found anything we have not seen or read before, unfortunately. Have you?"

"Perhaps I did."

I raise an eyebrow. It is the status quo that she finds something new instead of me, with the occasional exception. However, new materials to fit into the puzzle are rare these days. I wait a minute to see if she will speak again – she says nothing more.

"What did you find?"

"Something I have known for a while. I kept missing the signs about it."

She usually tells me something like this right away, for the most part. It is imperative that we both have the proper information to divulge to the others when needed. She turns quiet again – as if she is contemplating something.

"Am I supposed to guess?"

"Why, Miss Maryam, that sounds like a fabulous idea."

I give her a quizzical look. What could I possibly guess that would be correct? I did not even notice which tome she was reading. Guessing right would be impossible. I think for a bit – for the sake of trying. Still, nothing comes to my think pan.

"I do not have the slightest idea."

Once again, a smirk tugs at her lips.

"Perhaps you are right, but I am sure you could figure it out."

I start to think that this has nothing to do with a book at all. How could she have expected me to know, especially if it was not from the book she was reading? Then it hit me.

"Is this what you humans call 'beating around the bush'?"

"I suppose you could call it that, though in this case it would be the 'proverbial bush'."

I am gradually getting frustrated. I do not like being unable to figure things out. This happens a lot with Rose. It is nothing new. I try not to be rude, since it is the farthest thing I want to be right now.

"Rose, if you are going to beat around your proverbial bush, then can you give me a stick to beat your bush with?"

At first she raises her eyebrows. Then her eyes widen, as if what I said only hit her a couple moments after it came out from my lips. She opens her mouth, and then she closes it again. Is she…is she speechless? I look down at my coffee, trying not to meet her eye. Was I too curt? Maybe I offended her – wait, what was that?

Looking up, I find that the noise that interrupted my thinking session was none other than a laugh.

_Her_ laugh.

I have heard Rose chuckle before. Sometimes, I would hear something in between a chuckle and a giggle. It happens rarely, when I somehow manage to comeback with an equally witty comment or two, or when Dave does the same. However, that is not what she is doing now. Hhe is laughing – genuinely laughing. That flipping feeling in my digestive acid sac comes out with full force. Her laugh is spectacular. No, it is more than that. It is stunning. This is the first time I have ever seen her like this – doubled over with laughter. Even though I love hearing her laugh like this, I wonder what I said to make her do so. Did I say something that was really idiotic? I can tell from the heat on my face that I am blushing. The heat is even rising toward the tip of my ear. I must be jade all over. After another moment or two, her laughing slows to a stop. One arm is still around her waist. Her other arm is lifted up, allowing her to rub one of her eyes with the hand on the previously mentioned arm. She looks up at me, trying to catch her breath.

"That…That was quite the Freudian slip."

I do not remember what a Freudian slip is. Perhaps I will make one another time, if it means Rose will laugh like this again.

"Ironically enough, it is similar to what I was thinking about. Congratulations, Kanaya. Dave would be proud. In a way, it leads to a topic I have wanted to bring up for a long time."

She smiles at me. Not a smirk – a real smile. I have seen this before. This is also a rare commodity. Sometimes I feel like she is going to smile like this, but she tries to contain herself to the point that it turns into a smirk. I still feel like I am colored jade. The atmosphere has changed entirely. I was becoming frustrated, yet all of that frustration has disappeared. It feels like her laughter made me lighter. I smile back at her, though it might look funny with the tints of jade on my face. She stands up, pushing her chair in, ignoring the fact that it is groaning in protest. I take the hint and stand up too.

She starts to saunter over to where I'm standing. I look down – her hips are attracting my attention for some inexplicable reason. Her hips are moving rhythmically, back and forth and back and forth, in the most hypnotizing way. Have they always done that? She has grown, as well – a couple of inches above average height, according to Dave. I have not moved from my spot a single form of aforementioned measurement system. I do not know if I want to. Something is going on here. Something is happening that is not connecting to anything else in my think pan. In fact, my think pan is turning into goop as I am standing here. Before I come back down to the meteor Rose, merely a hair's breadth away now, stands in front of me. She is looking at me with a newfound glint in her eye.

"Since you cannot guess what I have recently confirmed, I am forced to tell you."

I gulp very audibly. What in the name of the mother grub is going on here?

Rose opens her mouth to speak again, the tiniest inkling of her signature smirk – one of the bigger all knowing ones – the "I know something you will never know unless I tell you" one.

"I did not say I found any new information in a book. I have been reading you, instead."

…Come again?

"I have been observing the things you have been doing for the past few months. I must say that I am very flattered by all the attention you give me."

…What.

"However, there is still one thing I have to do to confirm these observations as the truth. In order to do this, I need to ask you a favor."

I look down to meet her gaze. A favor? What could she want – she could have asked me at a farther distance. Yet, curiosity always kills the meowbeast.

"What is it, Rose?"

"Bend down a bit."

"…if that is what you desire."

I do as I was asked – cautious as I am curious, I slowly lean downward and then all I can see is Rose grinning – why is she putting her face this close to mine? What is – mmmph!

I let out a noticeably loud squeak. I am flabbergasted – completely and utterly flabbergasted. It dawns on me what is happening a bit after it starts. It does not matter now, though. My eyes automatically shut. Soft – soft is the first thing I feel. Then there is the tingling sensation on my lips as she pushes hers gently on to mine. I am pretty sure my earlier prediction of my blood pusher exploding is coming to fruition, due to how it is practically crashing against my pusher protectors. I dare not even mention the feeling in the pit of my digestive acid sac. She is putting her arms around my waist now, and pushing a bit harder. My fangs are scratching at her lips, since they jut out somewhat. I can feel her breath hitch each time, and how her grip around me tightens ever so slightly when my fangs scratch at her bottom lip. It almost feels instinctual when I put my arms around her neck and start kissing back. I can feel her blood flow. It is more than tempting for me to bite down. I try to resist the urge as much as possible. She licks at my lower lip and starts to suck on it – pulling it toward her as she does so. It sends a shiver down my spinal erector. Her lips come off of mine after the pull, and she loosens her arms around my waist – however, she does not take them off. I lower my arms so that they are around her upper spinal erector.

Dizzying. This whole sensation, this whole situation – my think pan is swirling. I am vaguely aware of Rose laying her head near my left upper rotational joint connector. When I finally open my eyes, I look down to have my vision filled with a purple headband and platinum blonde hair. I can sense her blood pusher beating since she is so close to me. It is easier to hear since there are no other...feelings to distract me. My breath is still fast – it starts to settle down soon enough. I think Rose is in the same state, as far as breathing goes. After a while, it seems like each breath we take is in sync. To be perfectly honest, I would like to stay this way for eons upon eons. She lifts her head to look up at me. Her face is still colored – so is mine. I do not know if it is the position we are in, or the lighting, or what just happened, but she looks so gorgeous that it is painful. She grins at me.

"So I was correct."

My face scrunches up in confusion. I was distracted; I completely forgot she was trying to confirm something.

"What was it that you were trying to confirm?"

"If you have what you trolls call 'flushed' feelings for me."

Oh.

Well, then.

"I believe that is an accurate depiction of what I am feeling towards you."

"I would hope so." Rose says, nuzzling me in a way that I can barely feel it.

"I've been waiting to do that for an excruciating amount of time, Kanaya."

... I thought she felt nothing more than pale. I thought that I had fallen into the trap of moirailship again. Yet, when I think about it, that certainly was not a display of mere friendship. So this means she feels the same? Quite frankly, this elates me and frightens me at the same time. Yes, I am happy she feels the same way. However, I have never gotten this far in either the red or the black quadrant. I certainly do not know what to do. I have no idea about how this is going to work. I –

"Kanaya?"

I look down at Rose, noticing that she took her head off my upper rotational joint connector. She has a worried look on her face – one that only people close to her can tell that she is worried. I did not notice that my eyebrows had furrowed while I was thinking until I relaxed my face. That happens when I am worried or concentrating, and I presume Rose knows this. I smile a bit, although I still have some hint of trepidation. She unwinds her arms from around my waist and lifts one arm to put a hand on my face, cupping it gently in her palm.

"We'll figure it out."

Rose lifts herself up on her the tips of her toes, and kisses me on the lips – much more chaste than the last kiss. I have this odd longing for it to be like the last, actually. She pulls back before that can happen, though.

"I am going to sleep. It is late. You should come to my room tomorrow. We will discuss what just transpired."

I trip over my words – an accidental stutter.

"Yes. Of c-course."

Rose nods, taking her hand off of my face. She turns and walks to the transportalizer – entering it and then turning back toward me as she leaves.

"I will see you in my room, Miss Maryam."

Since she has left, I do not know what to do with myself. I decide to sit and go sip my cold coffee. I pull the chair out – making sure it does not groan this time. As I drink my coffee, I decide I will go to sleep soon as well. Of the many things on my mind right now, there is one thought that stands out to me the most.

I must learn the art of the Freudian slip.


End file.
